August 27, 2007
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The Curve at the Corner of My Mouth
Sandra talks about our marriage in her blog. Her colleagues and her discussed what the ingredients of happy marriage. One of her Hong Kong colleague replies her Mainland colleague’s question of when one knows one has found one’s another half that if every time one thinks of the partner and cannot but grin without awareness of other people around one has found one’s another half.
This is sweet. This is so sweet. I cannot agree with Mary (Sandra’s colleague) any more. She has got to the point. It is not a problem even if the couples have to be separate from each other in two distant cities. It is not a problem even if the couples cannot see each other every day. It is how the two persons respect each other. How can they respect each other? People are changing every day. Even if the two persons can see each other every day, the two of them change because they are living things and do not belong to anybody. By respecting each other, the two of them should learn to know each other every day. If you have such brain, such heart and such guts to learn to live with your partner every day, you are ready for marriage. If the two of you are ready to do the same thing, your marriage is probably the “happily ever after” one. Is this a kind of secret? Definitely not! It is only a plain fact that many people ignore. This is why whenever my students tell me about how they suffer from their “love” and have no motives to move on I will plainly reply, “Do you really call your “acquintance” some kind of love? How much do you know about love? Come on! Listen to mine and then judge for yourself.” This is me! Straightforward but persuasive.
One ingredient has not been mentioned yet. I think some hints or clues of the partner are very important. The photos of Sandra, the messy clothings left behind, the stained carpet by high-heel, the flinged-over letters or bills, even the weak scent of Sandra and dirty ashtray full of cigarette butts remind me of my little devilish Sandra! When I write this last few sentences, I can feel that the corner of my mouth curves up with happiness. Wherever we are, we are connected somehow.
