We grew up with the shadow of the incident of 4th of June. We saw the scenes with blood and carcasses all over the streets of Beijing on TV. We went home and sat in front of TV for news broadcast every night. We witnessed the moment the tanks were driven in Tiananmen Square and the scary roaring of machine guns before that.

We grew up with the shadow of the incident of 4th of June. We know how to stay strong with our dreams. We understand to stand up with our visions. We recognise that there are some things we have to fight for and never tolerate the second best.

We grew up with the shadow of the incident of 4th of June. We do not ask for money. We do not ask for time travelling. We do not ask for eye on eye. We only ask for the truth, the reasons, the justice and the dignity that those who died on the 4th of June deserve.

I could do nothing to save the children on the 4th of June. I can do nothing to change the status quo of the place we call homeland. But I can at least tell everyone how we can reflect on a realm without privileges but only justice and equality.

營營役役，遺失了時間和心情去欣賞生命。

南洋杉

藍花楹

宮粉羊蹄夾

榕樹

芒果

樹擦

影樹

驀然，生命的璀璨就在拐彎處等著。

當我閉上眼睛倒在棺材裡，我希望墓誌銘上寫些甚麼？

「豐盛人生，滿足無憾。」

活在大城市，營營役役，喘不過氣的我們，到底追求甚麼？我們滿足嗎？毫無遺憾嗎？人生豐盛嗎？在不斷的縱慾下，我們只有更空虛。

社會愈進步，不同信念就愈多。但一個開放公平的社會，每一個人都懂得怎樣尊重其他人。有錢的沒錢的、中產的低下階層的、八十前的八十後的、城市裡的郊區的、執政的作蟻民的，都有不同的生命歷程不同的追尋，互相尊重，互相支援，才緊扣出公義公平公開的社會。

今天的香港，不贊成中環價值不認同政府不贊成發展的，就是刁民。這是尊重嗎？我看不到一個成熟社會應有的共融。反高鐵，不是反興建高鐵，是反興建高鐵背後的霸道。像菜園村，為甚麼非拆不可。村裡的人，自給自足。這樣的人生，可以滿足，可以毫無遺憾，可以心靈豐盛。這種人生不單需要尊重，更是我們城市人嚮往的，不斷爭取的。有些人一生爭取到，只有六尺長的棺材。曾經在我們面前有一群生活滿足心靈豐盛的人，我們應該崇拜也來不及。我們沒有好好的跟他們學習，也沒有給他們應有的尊重，就跟他們說他們是大城市裡可棄的一群。難道這就是我們進步的社會嗎？我們是不是好可笑呢？

「1＋1」好好看。沒有硬道理大道理，只有情。看事情的角度是由一個小孩的角度出發。不是不認同妥協，只是為甚麼不可以反問？為甚麼不可以問為何不可？不懂得發問其實只是一種麻木。

甚麼是情？你不知道嗎？根本就不用找，原地站著，當你看清楚，你就會發現情就在你跟前，還是珍惜眼前的一切吧！甚麼是情？當我們願意放下有色眼鏡伸出手，跟其他人手牽著手，我們之間就有情。當我們懂得珍重一旦失去就不再有的東西的時候，我們就真的懂得生命的真諦。

今年是二零一一年，香港回歸了十四年，五十年不變還有三十六年。到底甚麼最後不變？我們這個都市的核心價值會不變嗎？我們有認真尊重過自己嗎？還是我們只是活在一個偉大的發展中國家裡的一個富裕特區中一群不知家為何物的膚淺城市人？

What kind of coworkers would you expect to meet nowadays?

The major cause of education reforms everywhere among the developed regions is that these regions require to increase the employability of their citizens or nationals and to promote social inclusion. Some people interpret these two objectives as society needs the new generations to be new humans who are able to cope with the ever-changing world. To do this, people should be capable to put themselves into other shoes, be creative, express themselves clearly, work with different peoples, pursue the success of the community as well as their own dreams and be willing to sacrifice.

However, there must be some difficult people working around you. Miss Grumpy printed nearly 250 pages of PDF documents in the staff room. Well, if those were documents related to the development of her panel, I thought no one blamed her. (But I dare say she only has her personal interests in her mind!)

“Oh, I am printing 100 odd pages. D’you know? Who will print these at home?” replied Miss Grumpy when someone doubted who had been printing such a large document. The fact was that many colleagues queued for printing exam papers as the deadline was close. For me, I had only queued for 19 letters to parents.

Before the end of the second period after Miss Grumpy had started her lengthy pooping (or printing) of document, I just asked, “Sweetheart, I have queued for printing 19 letters to parents. Would you please pick them out of your print-outs.”

“I have almost done with the printing,” Miss Grumpy said bluntly.

“It does not matter at all. Just take my documents out of yours and give them to me,” I repeated once again in somehow an ordering tone as I thought what I asked of her was not a favour she could show a nice gesture but some compensation she owed everybody in the staff room.

“They may be scattered in Miss L’s print-outs,” Miss Grumpy said with frustration.

“I have cancelled my printing, for your information,” Miss L interrupted coldly.

“Oh!” Miss Grumpy was tongue-tied for a minute or two. Then she looked away and said to the air, “I’m sorry for affecting you guys.” These words did not hang in the air and quickly dropped on the floor without making a single noise as there was no sincerity attached to them.

I could not help but shake my head. If I were her, I would have felt sorry from the very beginning. Printing the document after school or printing the documents 20 odd pages by 20 odd pages would be several options to show that I was considerate. When I shared this incident with Sandra, she sneered.

“Take it easy, my man. She is obviously of much older generations than ours. She must be somehow from the ancient time.”

That was a brilliant remark to summarize everything. How can a fossil change? But how long can I tolerate such person of both low mentality and morality working around me?

There are two sides of a coin but many people only treat this as a kind of comforting words for troubled friends.

There is a bay window in our apartment. Choco and Zero like the bay window a load. Whenever they would like to take a rest, the bay window is one of their choices.

Choco thinks that the bay window is the end of the living room. When he lies down on the bay window, he always faces the living room studying everyone walking by with his lazy eyes. The bay window is his territory to keep his family tight together. He has to keep an eye of each family member and protect them from the outside world.

Zero, on the contrary, seldom faces the living room when he lies on the bay window. Instead, he faces the streets down below. He loves studying the activities in the streets. Occasionally he turns around to study what the people inside are doing. The bay window to Zero is a passage to the outside world. With the sense of security of his home, he is ready to explore whatever lies outside.

I have two lovely dogs. They are quite opposite in characters. But they teach me a load because they never hide their feelings from me. There are two sides of a coin. There may not be one side good one side bad. It is only the difference in perspectives.

“Am I a good teacher? Or, simply put, am I qualified as a teacher?” This is the question I always ask myself. One said, “I do self-reflection three times a day.” I am not as hardworking as that. But, if we do not do self-reflection, we are only a group of zombies dragging the bodies around.

When I answer the above questions, I have to look into what a teacher should do. Someone focuses on how he/she can finish the curriculum within the timeframe, even within a lesson. Otherwise, he or she will be very angry and he/she will find scapegoats to blame. In this case, students may be quite handful and handy. Someone thinks that he/she is the king or queen in the classroom and he/she cannot be challenged. As a matter of fact, some challenges are only requests for help from the students. Some challenges are the consequences of the demand of truth from the students. But people treat challenges in different ways. Some simply label those challengers as mischief-doers. This categorization is handy. But when the teacher insists on punishing the “mischief-doers” otherwise he/she thinks that justice is not observed, this dear coworker becomes a bully himself/herself and justice is indeed not observed.

As a teacher, I think my duty is to show how human I can be to the students.

Being a human, I craze for knowledges, long for interacting with other humans, consider my position in the nature and even in the universe and try my best to give myself a meaning to live and to die. I have to show my students how I can acquire knowledges, how I can respect other people, how I can sustain the resources for the next generations and how I apply myself to find the meaning of my existence in my short living period in the history.

It is painful whenever I let myself down in being a teacher. It is irritating whenever I see someone claiming himself/herself a teacher but thinking himself/herself the only standard in the universe or knowing nothing about respect, not mentioning doing nothing about intergenerational rights and finding a meaning to life. It hurts when he/she is not a good colleague by not contributing to the collegiality. It hurts more seriously when he/she hurts the students. There must be one such colleague around and even sitting very close to you.

“Am I a good teacher? Or, simply put, am I qualified as a teacher?” I ask myself every day, especially when I find someone who does not qualified appearing near you and keep on being grumpy that he/she always meets substandard people including colleagues and students who drag him/her down. It is him/her who really drags the whole teaching profession down. I see these grumpy colleagues as the reflection in the mirror. I have to be a good teacher no matter what, at least to counter such negative influence from these pseudo-teachers.

Haven’t I mentioned that I was not very into dogs?

Since the introduction of Choco, I have been adjusting myself. I gradually learn more and more from him. Life is fragile and a kind of blessing. This is why I always tell my colleagues that pets like dogs and cats can help children in life education and elderly in having companions. A goldfish can die all of a sudden but many people do not feel so attached to its life. Most of them conduct a sea funeral for the dead fish by simply dumping it into the toilet bowl. But you will definitely be worried when you find that your dog or cat gets sick when you go home. This is simply because you can really communicate with them or they can communicate with you. As I mentioned before, Choco had to learn how to share when he faced the appearance of Zero. He has indeed learned how to be a big brother. But of course as restless as Zero, no one seems resistant to lose temper. Anyway, Choco now more or less accepts the companion of Zero.

Zero, as an 8-month member of the family, shows me something else I haven’t experienced with Choco. Simply put, Zero is a very optimistic kid. There have been Dad, Mom and Choco in the family since he came to this family. Dad and Mom love him so much. Choco, although being frequently annoyed by Zero’s harassment, still play with Zero and even protect him when being walked. Zero feels extraordinarily secure. Choco sleeps on soft materials like sofa, cushion, lambskins or carpet. Zero sleeps wherever he likes without any discrete consideration. When he is exhausted, he just sleeps on the tiles in the middle of the living room, the kitchen or even the corridor. When you approach near him, he will raise his hind leg to ask you (or to let you as if you should) to scratch his belly. When we walk the two brothers, Choco stays alert especially to those fierce breeds of dogs like Dobermans, Chowchows and bulldogs. But Zero dashes close to attempt to play with these breeds of dogs. He has no sense of danger at all. When the other dogs show aggression, Zero will lie on the ground, turn over, raise his hind leg and show the stomach to his “friends”.

Apart from the lack of the sense of danger, we also find that Zero is impatient to focus on one thing. When Choco sleeps on the bay window, he must face the living room studying everyone at home. When Zero sleeps on the bay window, he just puts his butt to us and faces the street. He feels like studying the activities in the street instead. The lack of attention also makes Zero a slow learner. Is this common to little brother in general? I dare not to make any conclusion here. But I asked our vet last time we visited him with Zero, “Can a dog have ADHD (Attention Deficit / Hyperactive Disorder)?”.

“I think this is his mentality and not a kind of disorder,” the vet replied.

Anyway, we have two dogs with two different characters and traits. I have only attempted to rationalise the occurrence of such difference. Like most of the parents, no matter what, the children are our children and we love them all without any discrimination.

Wen Jiabao, the Prime Minister of China, promised in front of the press that China would assure the prime off-shore Renminbi centre of Hong Kong although Singapore was “granted” the next.

Wen Jiabao was once recognised as the people’s Prime Minister as he visited many victims of catastrophes and showed the concerns of the Government. So what? He also promised this and that but his words are always stuck on the paper. The day before Ai Weiwei was arrested, Wen Jiabao spoke to the press that China needed someone daring to speak and to act. Bullshit! One day after, Ai Weiwei was arrested because of being daring to speak and to act. When can Central Government really walk the talk? It is not the problem of public relations. It is whether the Government really gets the guts to do something constructive.

Wen’s promise that Central Government will assure the status of Hong Kong as the first and prime off-shore Renminbi centre of Hong Kong is only a kind of insult to Hong Kong as a laisez-faire economic region. As a hongkonger, should I be worried of losing the status of prime off-shore Renminbi centre? Of course, I should. But in market economy, if you want to win the battle, earn it. Why should you ask for someone to grant you this and to promise you that? Wen Jiabao! Get lost! You have just ruined the reputation of Hong Kong as an altar of free market economy. How can such hypocritical person with low mentality be the Prime Minister of China? We can only blame the lack of a more civilised political system.

Do we need another best actor in China? Come on! It is time to have some more civilised change in the political system.

“I was Glad” by Sir Charles Hubert Hastings Parry was played in Westminster Abbey. I was stunned and touched when I heard the music from the TV during news report.

Prince William and Catherine Middleton finally got married. As the left-behind citizens of a past-tense colony, many Hongkongers still feel emotionally attached. I watched the news report instead of the live broadcast. During the procession of Catherine Middleton, the bride, the music of “I was Glad” was played in the air. This piece of music was the also played at the end of the funeral of Princess Diana, William’s mother.

For a man, there are different women in his life. Each woman is a chapter of his life book. Each chapter contributes to some development of his life story. We may not know where our stories lead us to and where we will end our stories. If we are lucky (or unlucky as some may consider and I have to be open-minded), there may be just a few chapters in our life stories. However, no matter the number of chapters, we have the same characters in our first chapter; these characters are our mothers.

Choosing a closing theme of Princess Diana’s funeral in the wedding ceremony is meaningful. It is meaningful because this piece of music symbolises the end of the first chapter of Prince William. Her mother must be in a very important position on his mind. She shaped him as the present upright person. But now the same piece of music introduced another chapter of Prince William. This woman as her lifelong companion (at least the two of them believed so when they stepped in front of the alter) strengthens his will of his life and makes his life colourful.

Choosing this piece of music is also risky but brave. As a royal member, one has to be presentably strong. You cannot show any weakness either physically or emotionally. To show people or your subjects you are a sensational person is somehow to show your nude self in front of the people. Prince William and Princess Catherine chose to show their sensational selves to the people is risky. But in this modern age, who needs an iron-faced cold-blooded leader or figure-head? What we need is a human, one who has warm blood and flesh. (This is also a problem of China. No matter how many times the Prime Minister or the Chief Secretary visit the people, the scenes do not contain any warm blood and flesh!) Hurray to Prince William and Princess Catherine.

I did not know that a royal marriage could be so iconic not only visually. After all, it is not a fairy tale. It is only a story of a boy loving a girl and wishing there will be a happy ending. But the story of Prince William, we must read it from the very first chapter.

Travelling is good. It is a kind of retreat from the real life. Therefore it is to certain extent pathetic.

There is a Chinese phrase which says, “愛屋及烏”. In English, there is a similar phrase which says, “Like me, like my dog.” But being a Chinese is really not quite easy. It is quite difficult to like me like my dog. The Central Government has been doing something quite substandard in human rights even when I have lowered my standard. Especially after Beijing Olympic Games in 2008, it seems that everything the Government would like to achieve has been achieved. Those promises before the Games have to certain extent superficially made. Like all the other slogans, once it is achieved, there are no needs to carry on the maintenance of the achievement. Promises have been achieved and therefore no needs to be kept. All the once open-mindedness cannot be seen. More and more political trials are observed. I am lucky that I live in Hong Kong. But I am deeply upset as a Chinese. Not only once I have been asked by foreigners if I feel threatened. I do not. I wish things happen in such a way of linearity. I love my country but at the same time I am unhappy because of the regression of the logics of the Central Government. I am not self-important. But I am out of a kind of genuine patriotism.

Being a Hongkonger gives me another level of disappointment. Hong Kong Government has been using her colonial logics to run Hong Kong. There are no visions and missions at all. To certain extent, Hong Kong can say no. As many Mainland Chinese appreciate the capacity of Hongkongers saying no to Hong Kong Government and even applying for legal judgement to what the Government decides to do, these opposite opinions are met with huge disapproval mainly aroused by the Government and her entourage of people. Hongkongers do not appreciate what they have. When I was still in New Asia College of the Chinese University of Hong Kong, I learned that we had to treasure the power of cherishing “珍重”. Mainland Chinese love Hong Kong and one of the reason for this is that Hong Kong can keep its tradition including shops, building, food, etc, for more than 100 years while Mainland China does not have the capacity to keep any tradition for at least 30 years. As a result, some Hongkongers turn to be quite radical. Is this the same Hong Kong I grew up?

In life, there are so many things I should reproach. But I do not want to repeat all the reasons in this post. If only we had chance to put ourselves in exile occasionally, it would be a kind of blessing. At least I have this blessing, I feel gracious and I will cherish this blessing.