July 13, 2008

• My Stay as Human Being in a Cage

  I have already got used to breathing through the mouth and intaking food without much of the food flowing to the nose. I can jump up and down my bed. However, with two big lumps of bandage stuck in the two nostrils, I still feel uneasy. I sneeze a load. Sometimes I am about to but I cannot, tears burst out from my eyes. I keep on “crying” all days. I cannot help. Being sicked is somehow equivalent to losing dignity. You have to expose your weakest moment and your ugliest side to everyone.

  My Mom came. Sandra came and went for Shanghai. Sandra’s Dad came. My Dad came. My brother, Benson, came. Sandra’s Mom came. Stella, Sandra’s sister in law, came. Everyone came and went. I was sometimes conscious and sometimes deep in my sleep. I looked like an animal in a cage. There was a sign read “Human Being” at the back of my bed. I could join in and have convesation with them. But sometimes I could only recognise their visit. Whenever there were food placed on my bed table, I jumped up and fed myself. I should not have any cold or flu. But I still found myself not very well. Suddenly a dizziness attacked me and I felt very sleepy.

  I cam in here before midnight. I have already stayed three nights. Today is the third day of my stay in the hospital. If my otorhinolaryngologist approves, there will be one more night and I can be free. I can find my dignity again.

  • 8:47 pm
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